Life Coaches: Are They Just Professional Cheerleaders?
The modern-day gurus who promise to turn your dumpster fire of a life into a LinkedIn-worthy vision board. But do we really need them, or are they just overpriced hype machines with a knack for asking, “How does that make you feel?” while sipping artisanal coffee?
I was told to get a Life Coach for Alka who's been through so much since her stroke a few years ago. A Life Coach might help her find some strength and joy again. The coach would pep her up, make her mentally and physically strong.
But let’s be real: Alka’s already the strongest person I know. She’s fought through challenges most of us can’t even begin to imagine. So, instead of a life coach, maybe we just need more laughter, more love, and maybe a little less unsolicited advice. Alka’s not just surviving; she’s teaching me how to live.
But hey, maybe we DO need them. After all, who else is going to convince us that 'manifesting' isn’t just a fancy word for wishful thinking? Life Coaches are the ultimate accountability buddies, except instead of nagging you to clean your room, they help you 'align with your core values.'
They’re the people who charge you 1500 rupees an hour to tell you what my partly educated mom or Dadar Mumbai friends already said for free.
And let’s not forget their signature move: the motivational quote. Life Coaches are like walking Hallmark cards, armed with enough “You got this!” energy to power a small city. Sure, you could get the same pep talk from a fortune cookie, but where’s the fun in that?
Life Coaches add drama and flair. They are the motivational sherpas of modern existence. They promise to guide you up the Everest of success, except sometimes, they themselves look like they’ve barely made it past base camp.
Why do we need a Life Coach to tell me to go to the gym five days a week to achieve the sculpted glow of a multi-crorepati when they, too, could do with a little less samosa and a little more squats?
I told the person who suggested a Life Coach for Alka - and me - that I need her to get up from her bed and start running. She is mentally strong. She needs to be physically strong now. With all the conviction of a prophet descending from a mountaintop, the well-meaning friend said : Happy smiles are the path to happiness. Oh, really? I never would have guessed! Here I was, thinking misery and misal-pav were the way to inner peace. Thank you, enlightened one for your wisdom, which I definitely couldn’t have figured out from the back of a green tea packet.
Step 2. Convince you that only they have the roadmap to your best life.
Step 3. Charge you for three-hour sessions that end with you still being miserable—but optimistically miserable.
At the end of the day, do Life Coaches truly have all the answers? Maybe. Or maybe they’re just very good at monetising the obvious. Either way, if someone’s making crores by telling people to drink more water and think positive thoughts, then maybe they are the ones we should be taking financial advice from.
Do they ever feel… sad? Do they ever collapse on their couch, staring into the abyss of their vision boards, wondering if “manifestation” works on unpaid electricity bills?
Picture this—after a long day of telling people to 'own their mornings' and 'unlock their inner potential,' does a Life Coach pop an antidepressant before bed and whisper, “I am enough,” into the darkness? Or do they scroll through Instagram, wondering why some other Life Coach has more followers and shinier teeth?
And what about their personal lives? Do they have embittered spouses who roll their eyes when they suggest solving marital fights with an “empowered communication framework”? Imagine!.
Let’s take it a step further. Do Life coaches, in their crisp linen shirts and perfectly balanced chakras, ever morph into ordinary, mildly unhinged human beings when they hit Pune traffic? Do they break signals with the confidence of a TED Talk speaker and then glare at the flower-seller at the Baner-Balewadi traffic lights as if the young girl personally invented gridlock?
And the biggest question—do they ever snap? Not just at plastic toy sellers but at the universe itself? Do they ever want to slam their gratitude journals shut and scream, “Not every setback is a setup for a comeback!”
The truth is, life coaches are human. They probably get sad. They probably fight with spouses (embittered or otherwise). And yes, they probably break a traffic rule or two. But hey, give them a break—they’re busy optimising their best lives.
So, do we need life coaches? Maybe. Or maybe we just need someone to remind us that adulting is hard, and it’s okay to cry in the shower sometimes. Either way, if you’ve got the cash and a burning desire to “live your best life,” why not?
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